5-6 minutes
This is something I’ve wanted to write about for a while. Watching so many of my friends struggle at work complaining how soul sucking it could be. Mind you, they weren’t working at Mcdonald’s. Something I once did. Or building BBQs, despite no training, that break upon the touch (did that too). No, they’re usually in their dream field pushing a product or service that speaks somewhere to a change they’d like to see in the world. They got bogged down in the bureaucracy and monotony that life tends to be. Then they do the weird thing of not confiding that very same emotion felt by all around them. In fact, the ones who complain all seem to carry the same trait, they don’t share anything at work. I guess for them, “work’s not a social club,” as my dad used to say.
My dad used to say it when bringing up complaints about any colleague or when I’d ask him how he managed people. Needless to say, he didn’t have many friends at work. However, he was very, very good at his job producing morning radio shows for the Canadian public broadcaster. Dad maintains that especially envious aura that emanates from people who’ve perfected their role. I don’t think anyone doubted his skill (or he wouldn’t have gotten away with the shit he’d pull). He just failed at the social aspects of the job.
When he retired, thirty-three years later, they gave him a shiny plaque you’d normally get playing a softball tournament. I was only eighteen then and still saw how sad that was. Dad said, “a company has no heart nor soul”’ another of my dad’s maxims. Except for this one, I agree.
A company is an entity we conjure into existence through legal hocus pocus. It’s because of the combined interdependent actions of millions if not billions of people today, we help these entities grow. A company doesn’t give a shit what you ate for breakfast or your girlfriend’s recent infidelity followed by your personal meltdown on Slack. It doesn’t exist, it has no feelings.
Your boss might care. Your teammates might even share some empathy. If you had looked at work as a social club, and occasionally asked about your boss’s son, your heart problems might even be received by your boss with a warm suggestion for some paid leave rather than the boot.
We’re human. Animals. We desire to be liked, part of a group, recognized and depended upon. A corporation is an instrument that exploits this to its benefit and a separate need. It’s a wonderful thing and a horrible one. You can own the best of it or have it drive you down in a fury of flames. The choice is yours. It doesn’t care. Just be sure to clock in at 9 to 5 or flex around those hours and show up 50 weeks a year (plus or minus) for 30 years, the rest is up to you.
Math fact: you will live your days at work
Dreams of fame and fortune aside until you can relax and fart out your existence on an Aruban beach in between doctor appointments, you should accept what you do to make money will define you to a large extent. Because we are products of our environment. As much as we can differentiate our choices in life, the people, friends, and time we spend will naturally come to show us who we are. And spending 60,000 hours of a lifetime, Monday to Friday, pretending the people you spend the most time with aren’t important is about as logical as arguing the earth is flat because you can’t see it’s round. Study after medical study shows what we’re still somewhat blind to: the environment influences us. Spend your office days being fake with strained smiles and a clicking clock in your head waiting for the end, and be sure no one invites you out.
So next time you’re at work take some time, breath, drink the coffee slowly and smile at whoever makes eye contact. Ask them something benign, “How’s the commute?” or “Got a good lunch today?” It will start a conversation and get you relaxed. Eventually, small talk will lead to interesting things, discussions some people consider taboo at the office but what actually binds us to trust one another. Maybe a bit further down the road, you’ll remember your coworker’s birthday, the party planned for their significant other, and you’ll genuinely want to know how it all went down. They might ask you for help on a particularly demanding case and you’ll jump right in helping each other out. The whole team might even pitch in one time when it looks like you’re about to go postal in the millennial sense of the term, burnout on your sofa with Netflix asking if you’re still watching. Two unread texts from your boss later.
It’s the little things. Making a friend or two at work can make all the difference between excelling at a career and feeling fulfilled. Or hiding in the corner office wondering why it has to be so damn draining.
Food for thought.